My Choice

The music in me comes from my roots: Black, Indian, Cholo, spaniard, Chinese, Hispanic.Unique human being. I am the African of my antecesors, screeming for their freedom. I am the Indian of my great Grandma enslaved and pushed out of what was righfuly hers. I am the Spanierd conquester claiming its flag over the world. I am the Chinese wisdom of the misterious secretive Orient. I am the soul of the Chola mixed with all these races searching for an identity. Lost in a new world lost in the old one. Not belonging to neither. I am just skin and bones searching fot her soul. A Hispanic by definition. A citizen of theworld by accident. A human being by creation. A Harpy Eagle by choice.

Hell is Cold!

There is a voice on my head
It says that people are wrong
They say and think
That hell is hot
I say nope
Hell must be cold
Like the heart of the unkind
Or the unfaithful love
Like the ice in the mind
Of those that judge
Or plant hate...
Hell surely is as cold
As a this frigid January night...

Grateful

Some days are worse than others. Tonight is a combination: it could have been worse but, darn, it it could have been better.  No complaining here. The worse could have been really really really bad. So I take what I got with a grain of salt. And then I thank God for good friends that pitch in when needed.

El Deseo y la Espera

El deseo es una trampa mortal que te enreda en sus redes insaciables y te lleva a senderos desconocidos...
La espera es una virtud que no todos tenemos pero quisieramos.
Desearte y esperarte es una disonancia que duele en el alma....

The Best. of All

There is so much beauty around us. The blue sky and the sparkles of reds and purple...or the soft white of a cloud passing by... a misty morning...a rapid cascade in the middle of a green mountain...or the sands of the desert with its interesting unending waves...a stand alone peak or a death tree still standing proud...defying death itself...the transparent ocean, sometimes calm, sometimes wild...a dark woods  or a tall old beautiful tropical tree full of life and emerald green...can you see it? And yet there is one thing that is even more beautiful. A creation that was created with love. That is the human soul.

The Light

I saw the light at the end of the tunnel tonight. I turned back and I saw the darkness behind. It was ugly. A lonely place without hope, where false doors lead to more darkness. Then I realize the light never left me. It was within me all this time. Because it loves me. It was the light who took me by the hand and walked me through the chaos. Then I realized the meaning of the darkness. It is by diving in the pit of hell that we can appreciate the beauty of the light. The purity of true love. Then we, like the lost lamb can appreciate the warm, cozy arms of the Shepperd that rescue us
 Thank you Jesus!

The wind

I can hear the roar of the wind,
like a Lion in a desert of ice
Pacing back and forth
across the plains...
I can feel the cold
all the way in my bones
freezing every inch of my body
until it hurts...
It feels like if the Lion has gotten
a hold of me, and his sharp teeth
are cutting throughout my skin
unveiling, exposing my heart
to a frozen death.

In another Part of the World

someone is hungry, or lonely or sad...

And so on...

The woman in the mountain paused to pay attention to a foreigner. He did stop to ask for water and then he stayed...for a little while. Now he has left to battle with a phantom  in a faraway forest. The woman seats again on her mountain looking at the sky for answers. The Spring is near and flowers will grow from her hands. They will adorn her mountain and she will blend with the earth and will become one with the wind. She knows that the cycle goes on and another winter will follow.  And so on...

It is Not for me to Judge

I am not a Saint nor the perfect woman Seatting nicely at the table, perfectly trained to talk properly, behave like a lady and sound like one...
My days are hectic, running errands, working hard and trying to keep my head above the water...
I make mistakes, poor costly choices that break me in pieces and I put myself together with crazy glue( figuratively speaking) I am the best description of imperfection. Therefore, is not my place to judge, thus I forgive. 

Love

Love is like a seed that we plant in a fertil field. Then we nurture it daily. We watch it grow healthy and strong under the sun...but if we walk away and forget to water it, it will eventually die.

The Gigant

He stands in the middle. Majestic and strong. He is silent and yet he speaks so loud. He is a gigant endangered by our hands. He need us to stand up for him. He won't ask though. He is too proud to ask.

La Mentira del Sol

El sol se filtra por la ventana y perezosamente ilumina el piso. Pareciera que si sales a la puerta te va a recibir un hermoso dia de verano. Mentira. El sol es traicionero. Cuando abras la puerta vas a sentir el frio en la cara...se te van a conjelar hasta los huesos.

En Noches Como Esta

Pienso en ti. Sera que el frio tan inmenso me hace recordar tu desamor? No lo se ni lo sabre. Solo entiendo que a medida que cae la nieve the recuerdo mas y mas. En donde andaras?

The Hunter

His eyes glow in the dark. Big, yellowish expressive and curious.  One cannot see his beauty in the middle of the night. His gray fur keeps him warm and safe from the cold. He hides in the shadows of the winter night, searching for the perfect victim. Once he find it the expert hunter will then strike and kill.

And at the end

No body will remember you for how much you worried or how far you went...but for the little things that no one seems to care. For a kind word, the smile to a friend...the helping hand you lend...at the end is not the big things what counts...but the little details!

Loving this Journey

That we call life...the sun over the trees that creates interesting shapes and contrast of darkness and light...loving the rain that creates ponds here and there and mud under our feet...loving the dust in a dry summer, hiking in the woods, in a remote unknown trail in the middle of nowhere...loving skipping rocks in the river and watching the rippling effect over the water...or over the iced lake and listening to the outrageous sound that replicates an echo over and over again...


Loving the laugh of a child, the amaze on his eyes when discovering something new...the admiration he expresses for his/her parent... loving the pain that a rose inflicts on the hand that cuts it...because that red liquid reminds you that yes, you are alive, you have eyes to admire the rose, you have hands to touch it, and there is warm, red, living blood on your veins. You are a living being!

The Kite

Sometimes I feel like a Kite. Flying high on the blue infinite sky, and yet grounded by the hand that takes me wherever whenever it wants...if I could only break that tiny thread and run away, far very far...between the clouds and hide, never to be seen again...ah!...I want to...
let me break free.

Life

Is form of those little things
That make us laugh or make us cry...

The Harpy

The Harpy eagle got tired of the same landscape  day in and day out. She needed to fly away
Into the excitment of the unknown. So she flew higher and farther until she no longer could see the fields that she loved once. Up in the peak of new mountains she found her peace again.

We are

We are love walking in the world
in all shapes and colors...
and when we love we shine
and illuminate the darkness
with our light
We are meant to be kind
and caring, we are meant
to forgive and bright each others lives
but sometimes we get lost,
we start walking in the dark
and become darkness ourselves
and we forget who we are...

The star

There is a star in the sky that is only mine...
it look down at me and smiles
and says: hey girl, how was your day?
and I say, just fine!


Then she dances in the sky and shines
she is happy for me, and stays up all night
to make sure I have sweet dreams.


I love my star. She is my lucky charm!
Good night girl, sweet dreams too
don't stay up to late!

Question

Can you imagine the world without the sun? The sky without a cloud? A river without water? Can you imagine the monotony of the trees without the birds, or a garden without flowers? How sad will be to live in a world without stars to look in the darkest nights. Can you imagine your food without the spices that enhances its taste? Or a world without music, or color, forms and shapes…that is exactly how a world without love would feel like.

Imagine

Lying down on a field of yellow dandelions...surrounded by anything but green and yellow...feeling the sun over the skin, the breeze of summer moving the fields of dandelions...Imagine touching the earth, feeling the wonderful texture of the grass in your bare back...smelling the humidity of a summer day...listening to the sound of the lake and the life within it...imagine looking at the open, infinite blue sky, clean and bright with no clouds in sight. Imagine that as the day ends a red sunset paints a gorgeous sky where one by one the stars appear. Imagine that you are part of all that, and you blend with nature and become one. Then you become part of the sky and the grass, you open your wings and fly as a bird in the sky but you are also the blue sky on which the bird flies…  and you are the wolf that runs over the soft and warm earth, and the earth beneath his paws is also you... It  is beautiful, isn't? We are all connected...

Sometimes

We wonder about...what will have happen if things were different. If I have born in another place, if I have been a male an not a female, if I was tall instead of short...what if I was blonde, or red head...what if I was a flower instead of a human, or an eagle, a fox, a turtle, a fish...how will life be in another planet...or in the moon, or in a star...what determines who we become? how do we get where we are?  We are given one body, one soul, and the freedom to chose, but within that freedom we still bonded into our limitations...and we struggle within ourselves to chose what and who we are. Sometimes I wonder...

The Sunshine

Makes everything brighter and better...like the color of your eyes, when you talk so full of enthusiasm...or the mountains in the distance...the sunshine in my window reminds me of the good old days.. swimming in a river, in a sunny day, ridding a horse in the infinite field of the country side, listening to spooky stories or laughing about old folk tales and jokes...looking at the myriad of flowers at the county fair, listening to the music...the sunshine sneaks into my brain and brings those memories today.

The Impostor

There was upon a time an impostor that loved to mislead and to lie. Drama was his first name. Charlatan was his middle name. Deception was his last name.  He lied so much that he started believing his own lies. And so he went through life. Lying here and lying there. He wasn't a bad guy...he just could not tell the truth even once. One day he came across another liar, her first name was Traitor and her last name was Manipulation.  They admire each others ability to lye that they thought they have fallen in love for each other. But how can they believe that is true when they both lye all the time?

The Test

It is in our darkest hours when we are tested. Can we close our eyes and ignore the storm. Can we breath calm while the wind blows and the waves shakes the small boat in the inmensity of the ocean? Can we hang up to our faith and our trust? And if we hear His voice calling us to walk on the stormy waters...can we step out and walk?

Who I am not

And then I look at that mirror and I see who I am not. I am not a slave nor a princess. Life has not been easy and I fight to survive. I am not an object of pleasure nor an ornament in someone's table. I am not graceful nor sweet, although Sometimes I could be. I am not elegant nor fancy, no skinny and not talI, and definitively I am not rich but if I see someone in more need than I have, then I give from my nothingness. I am not the idiot you think, if you fooled me is because I choosed to be fooled. Love does things like that. I am not perfect, no one is, but I strive to be better...I am not wise but I hope to be...someday when I grow up...

You are, I am

Oh woman you look at the mirror and wonder: who are you?
You are the tenderness that embraces life...you are the strenght of the storm...the quietness at night!
Oh woman, who am I? I am the boat in the ocean, trying to survive...I am the wind that comes by and pass...I am an Eagle that fly high and a quiet flower in somebody"s hands...I am she who loves for the sake of love and give without ask...I am fruitful and empty, I am peace and I am war. I am the fire of hell and the coldness of ice. I am so much and so little. The moon in the darkness of life, the sun warming and bright...an incredible river of dreams, a never ending cascade of energy, the golden nugget, the black coal...the good and the bad...that I am.

The Carnival

The drums are calling my hips to dance. The carnival is near, the excitement builds up...my blood gets the call...the black in my veins dances with joy...dance woman dance...let the music chase sadness away...dance woman dance...drown the sadness in a river of sensual rythms, let the drums take over and replace the unworthy pain...dance woman dance...let behind the fool and the nonsense...let the carnival take over and throw your concerns away with the confetti and the noise. Dance woman, move your hips...let your soul lead...close your eyes and fly away...to another time and another place. Be happy and be well. Let the rythm take over. Let the drums set the pace. Don't think. Don't talk. Don't feel. Just dance!

The Spring is Near

The time is near
When the trees are green again
The birds will comeback to the garden
The flowers will grow and the butterflies will return for their nectar...
Winter will be gone and life will be back to all...
Same with my heart. I will leave father winter behind and never look back. I will dance in joy and let life go on. I will be free of the darkness and like the phoenix bird I will reinvent myself from the ashes.

Wish

Sometimes don't you wish you could go back on time an undo the knots in your life? To have a second chance and do over your life.  I wish I could go back when I looked at your honey color eyes and saw your smile for the first time. I wish I could hold to that smile for an eternity. I should not have walked away. I should not have had let go off your hand.  I should not have dissapeared never to return. Because when I think about you I know you are it. I wish you well wherever you may be. Peace with you. Happiness in your heart. Contentment in your soul. Success in your life. Health and specially love. All may be well with you.

Good Morning Sunshine!

Is another day and we are alive!
You at your end and me in mine.
Each one fighting to win the fight
Working, loving, hoping, mourning...feeling lost in this world of unkinds. Nothing matters, really. Just to be alive. To get out of bed, stretch out and seat out in the garden. Take a deep breath and say: good morning sunshine. Thank you for another day!

The intuition

I know. Somehow I do. I don't know what and I don't know when, but I know. Is this a blessing or is this a curse? I don't know for sure. I just know that I know.  And I don't want to know.
Have you ever have that strange feeling that anything that you think, or perceive becomes reality?  A Deja vue feeling that does not go away?....

Encuentro

Bueno, que te cuento? Ayer me encontre con la vida. Hacia mucho tiempo que no sabia de ella y de pronto se me aparecio en la puerta. Como siempre altanera, lista para golpearme en la cara y dejarme con un ojo morado. La agarre por los pelos y le dije que ya basta. Que estoy harta de sus necedades. Se quedo callada y me dejo tranquila. Pero volvera, siempre regresa con el dolor y la pena. Ella es asi. Es la vida.

The Darkness

Sometimes we are atracted to the darkness, like a firefly dancing over a bonefire...sometimes we are afraid of darkness, like a little child...because we fear what we don't know. Sometimes we are attracted and fearful at the sametime. Is then when we are more terrified and fascinated of our own darkness. We dance  in front of the bonefire and we face then a decision: to pull away from the danger or continue in the hypnotic game and fall victim of our own desires.

My Muse

There was upon a time a muse so tall and hansome, so sweet and loving...and yet he stole my inspiration. The river that once was rich in ideas, became as dry as the desert. For years I walked in that desert, the absentism of poetry and art was more painful than the lack of love itself.

Then I met another muse, in a lonely night, in the middle of nowhere. Not as handsome. Not as loving, not as caring. Just as tall, selfish and unkind. In a wierd magical way, this second muse has returned the water to the fountain. Now a never ending cascade of words and ideas are pouring out from my mind to the paper, despite or perhaps because of the pain.

The Ants

Have you ever observe the ants? They work day in and day out. Never stop, they walk up and down in the wall, nothing stop them...unnless you smack them out of the countertop. Then they shake themselves and start climbing again...persistent little pesks!

Crazy

Every Don Quijote has his Dulcinea. Being crazy does not exhonarates you from Being loved. But the question remains: who is crazier, the crazy ones or those who love them?